evidence of a smile

As promised, evidence that Morgan smiles:


More smiling pictures are in the photo gallery. :)

Kitties!

Tiger likes to hang out with us.

My little nudist smiles.

So, the first time we ever saw a smile on Morgan was the day after Christmas. I was not convinced it was a real smile and not just the usual "man that fart felt good" face. But Jim swore up and down it was.
Well, the need for speculation has passed. Morgan is a smiling fool these days. Of course, she smiles the most when she's got her bottom hanging free in the breeze. We've always known that she loves to be changed and loves having a fresh and clean diaper, but she recently started handing out the smiles all the time on the changing table. So, figuring that we would pander to her wishes we have started letting her hang out nekkid in her crib after she wakes up the mornings. The smiles come freely then, but alas we have yet to catch one on film. I promise photographic evidence will come soon... but in view of respecting her future ego, I will not post the nekkid picture up on the net. Hell, I know we all hated those embarrassing pictures our mothers felt the need to share.

Morgan's birth story

Along comes Morgan

We had been debating for so long as to when Little Bear Cable would finally make his/her appearance in the world that I really did not take my first signs of labor seriously. I had been experiencing belly tightenings for about a week before she arrived, but on Thursday night (November 16th) they got a little stronger, but not at all painful. I told Jim that there really was no point in trying to time them as they didn't feel at all like people have described contractions to me: “Oh, you'll know it when it happens.” or “The pain will start in your back and go all the way around.” Jim and I both figured that the tightenings I was feeling were just the warm up session and the Little Bear would not make an appearance for another week or so.
I went to bed that night and was awakened at 3 am by a much stronger belly tightening. Again, it didn't hurt at all, but it was strong enough for me to think I should sit up for awhile and keep and eye (so to speak) on them. I sat up reading my book from about 3 until about 5 timing the tightenings. I was fascinated watching my belly transform from it's regular huge pregnant shape into a tight basketball. The “contractions” lasted about 45 seconds and were coming about every six to six and a half minutes. My extensive research had informed me (ah yes, the joys of being a born academic) that unless they were over a minute in length and less than five minutes apart there was really nothing to get excited about. My body was still just warming up. So, I went back to bed.
At around 9 am Jim and I decided to go to breakfast. The tightenings weren't getting any stronger or closer together, but holding at a steady 45 second duration every 6 minutes or so. But by this point I thought for sure that this meant the baby would be born on the proposed due date, the following day. I had been told repeatedly that for first time mothers a 18 hour labor was very common. As my “contractions” had started at about 3 am but had not really progressed yet, I figured that she would not be born until at least the next day. While at breakfast Jim kept the stop watch going like a champ. I was fully concentrating on eating as much as I could just in case. The “contractions” got a little stronger, again, not painful, but they did make me pause in my breakfast consumption, albeit briefly.
On the way home Jim and I had to stop at the hardware store to pick up a few odds and ends. While he was driving I was timing. Well, I realized then that things might be getting serious. I phoned Hilary, my best friend and chosen doula, to warn her that she might get a more serious call later that day. My “contractions”, while they were still under a minute in duration were getting closer together. While standing in line at Ace hardware store, leaning on Jim as another surge went through me, it occurred to me that “this was it” and we had better get home to make sure everything we needed was in the birth bag and ready to go. At home while Jim was packing odds and ends into the car I took a hot shower to relax myself the shower felt great and helped the tightness in my back but did nothing to slow things down. By this time although the contractions weren't over a minute in duration they were about 3-4 for minutes apart.
From the start our plan had been that when I went into labor I would call Hilary and head to my mother's house since she lived only about a 5-10 minute drive from the birth center. Sitting on my exercise ball, which I quickly realized was really the only comfortable place to sit, I phoned Hilary again and she said she'd meet me at my mother's, but I had better get on my way and drop the plan of taking a nap, I had already started to lose my mucus plug.
By the time Jim and I reached Mom's house at around 2 pm my contractions were about 2 minutes apart, but still shorter than I thought they needed to be. A quick snack of beef Jerky and a phone call to the birth center later we were on the way for a check up. The midwives wanted to see what my progress was like. The 5 minute drive cemented one thought clearly in my mind: I hated speed bumps. I remember clearly begging Jim not to let the car bounce because while I was mid-contraction bouncing in the car was the most unpleasant feeling I had yet to encounter.
When we got to the center the midwife on duty, Pat, checked me out and let me know that although I was only 2 ½ cm dilated, I was stretchy and about 90% effaced. She then called in Angie, the midwife who would be on duty that night so that I could meet her since I was surely having the baby that night. Angie was only going to be on duty until 8 pm when Shari, the midwife I had been seeing all throughout the pregnancy, would be back on duty. I thought for sure there was no way I'd be giving birth before 8 pm! After this brief discussion I was told to go back to my mother's have something to eat and try to rest. I should only come back when I was no longer able to talk through the contractions.
So, back in the car and over the speed bumps. We got back to Mom's house and she offered to make me something to eat... pork chops I think. I went into her bedroom and tried to lie down on the bed and rest. Jim came in to lie down with me. I quickly discovered that lying down was the worst possible position for a woman in labor to be in. I was breathing through the contractions with minimal difficulty when I was sitting up or standing, but the moment I was on the bed the pain became nearly unbearable and my whole body would tighten up with each surge. Jim brought me my exercise ball, which he had packed, smart man that he is, so that I could sit on it instead. Around this time Hilary showed up at my mother's house. I could hear her bubbling with excitement the moment my mother answered the door, but then again she had been bubbling with excitement since the day I told her I was pregnant. She and Jim took turns rubbing my lower back while I did my yoga breathing through each wave. We were no longer timing them, but there was no doubt in my mind that they were getting stronger and closer together. Finally Hilary called Angie and said that it was apparent that I was no longer able to talk through the contractions and that we were coming in. The walk from my mother's bedroom to the car parked outside was the longest journey I had ever made. I had to stop 2 or 3 times on the way because walking through the contractions was even less likely than talking through them. It was now around 5:15.
When we got to the birth center we “checked in” to the purple room and got ourselves situated. Angie came in to check my progress and said that I was around 4 cm. Fool that I was I tried lying down on the bed. Knew I'd never make that mistake again. So, back on the exercise ball, which in a birth center is called a “birth ball” instead, I returned to my yoga breathing. It helped relax me between contractions as well as give me something else to concentrate on. (Thank you Jackie for teaching me the Ujjayi breath!) Around this time Summer showed up. Summer is Hilary's roommate and is a massage therapist. My baby shower gift form Hilary and her husband was a “labor massage” from Summer. Little did I know then what I fantastic gift that was! She was my savior for that early part of the birth because she sat behind me while I was on the birth ball and rubbed my lower back completely loosening up my tension and helping me make it through.
Since we all thought we would be there for awhile, Hilary suggested putting on some music. Wonderful woman that she is, she brought all of my favorite Beatles albums. However, I mentioned to her that I had brought with us a movie. Now it may sound odd that I would suggest putting on a movie while I was rocking back and forth on the birth ball and unable to speak since we had arrived at the center, but this was no ordinary movie. It was Monty Python's Meaning of Life, which to some might not mean a thing, however Hilary and I had been discussing, “Part I: the Miracle of Birth” and the machine which goes “bing!” pretty much from the moment that I had decided to have a natural unmedicated birth at the birth center where she worked. I do remember the surprise emanating from both her and Jim when I piped up with my suggestion. I don't think I had been capable of speech for quite some time by this point. However, as funny as Python is, we did not make it much past “Every sperm is sacred” before music sounded like a much better idea.
Now here is where my memory gets a little fuzzy. I know my water broke at some point after this and that someone, I can't remember who, suggested that I might want to get into the birth tub to help relax. I remember thinking that was the best idea I had ever heard. Jim started to get his bathing suit on so he could join me in the tub but it was pointed out that I might be in there for a long time and he'd probably want to wait a bit. I'm guessing that all of this took place somewhere around 6:30 or so, but while I remember clearly everything I felt and I was 100% aware of what was going on around me, my brain was experiencing some sort of time lapse. I had no idea how much time was passing as it passed. At some points it felt like I had already been there for hours and at others it felt like mere minutes. I remember the sweet relief of the tub. I remember Angie coming in and telling me I was at 6 cm. I remember begging Jim not to leave the side of the tub and to just hold my hand. I remember Hilary telling me how well I was doing and that it was almost over. I remember thinking that she was a big fat liar. I remember asking how I would know if I felt like I would have to push and Summer telling me I'd just know.
Whether it was the power of suggestion or not, shortly afterwards (at least, so I think) I remember feeling like I really had to start pushing. Angie came back in and checked me but said I was only at 7 cm and wasn't ready yet. She suggested that I try changing positions in the tub, so I flipped (with quite a bit of effort) from floating on my back to kneeling on my knees. My best guess is that this all took place at around 7:15 or 7:30, but like I said, time was irrelevant. I do recall at some point saying that I couldn't support myself on my hands and knees and returned to my prone position.
Floating on my back in the tub with warm watter intermittently being added I was aware of the conversations going on between Jim, Summer, Hilary and Stefania (the senior midwife student who was present and would be the one to catch my baby). I could hear them, but to me they were miles away. Although if you were to ask me today I could not tell you what song, or even what album, was playing I remember being aware of nothing but the music and the feel of the water. When the wave of the next contraction would come over me I'd moan out a low throaty sound because it helped keep me focused and relaxed, otherwise I was listening to the music and putting myself anywhere but in my body. Of course, that's not entirely true. I have never been more present in myself than I was during those last few moments before I began to push, but at the same time I felt like I was anyone but myself.
At 8 pm Shari came in the room. She had been away from the center all night and was dressed up. It was the first time in the many months I had been coming to see her that she was not wearing her uniform. I remember thinking how odd it seemed that she was wearing a white shirt. I clearly recall her walking in the door because I felt a surge of relief. I thought to myself that if she was there then it really was almost over. She asked me how I was doing and I said to her that I really felt like I had to push. She said, “well that's what we've all been waiting for!” She then told Jim to get into his trunks if he was going to get in the tub with me. I don't remember if anyone asked if I wanted to give birth in the tub or if I wanted to get out, maybe they did, but I know for sure that there was no way in hell I would have voluntarily gotten back on that bed or out of the water at that point. Nope, the tub was where this was all going to happen.
Jim took up his position behind me and Shari checked my progress, or maybe it was the other way around, I'm not sure. She said I was 10 cm and the baby was well down and ready to come out. She told me to brace my feet and hold my breath while I pushed with the contractions. Perhaps I took her too seriously because I remember feeling like I was going to split the tub in two. After a few pushes she said she could see the baby's head and that it was covered with hair. Around this time I lost my cool, I mean truly lost composure. The contractions hurt, there is no denying that, but the feeling of the baby's head coming out was a different kind of pain and I knew I was ripping. I remember screaming just once and everyone telling me not to scream or I'd hurt the baby. I think that snapped some sense back into me because with the next push the head was out and shortly after that my beautiful baby girl was out of my body and in the water and they were telling me to pick her up and put her on my chest. It was 8:21 pm, I had been pushing for 16 minutes. I remember crying and I remember Jim crying. I remember being terrified because my Morgan Jade was the only one who was not. It took her a few seconds and a few good rubs to get her voice, but she sure found it and I remember looking down on her, a pinkish grey color, covered with vernix and thinking she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

her first party

We went to her very first birthday party and she wore her finest.

6 weeks old

"Kingdom of Me"

How right she is!

Getting in the Christmas spirit

Sporting some Christmas convict stripes.

1st Christmas

one month old

more cuteness

let the insanity begin!

For those of you who don't already know, Morgan Jade was born on November 17th at 8:21 pm. She weighed in at 7 lbs 11 oz and measured 19 1/2 inches. I will soon post up a description of her birth for those interested parties. In the meantime I'll direct you to the new photo gallery page on Morgan's site so you can admire what a gorgeous baby she actually is. I think she looks just like her daddy.

Things have been a little hectic around here of late, as I'm sure you can imagine, but I will try to keep up to date with pictures and descriptions of her amazing achievements. For example, today she made her first happy baby sounds. She cooed while in the bath and gurgledwith pleasure after a lite afternoon snack. Until today her main means of communication have been limited to whimpering, yelling and screaching. I konw Jim and I are both welcoming the change. :)

Tomorrow afernoon she has her three week postpartum checkup and we will see how well she is growing.

Today Jim and I received a new toy from Mom and Bruce for Christmas so we will soon be publishing short videos of Morgan in action to the site. Stay tuned. :)

after her first bath

Her first week of life

Nap attack!

Out Thanksgiving Turkey.

Morgan Jade, 2 days old.

First picture

Mere minutes after birth.

Halloween Party

So last night we had a Halloween party at Laura's house. This has been months in the making, buying and preparing the decorations and planning the layout of the Haunted House. While distracted with the set up of the event I was not too focused on my costume until the last minute. Then, at the comment of another pregnant friend (thanks Karma!) I was hit by an idea of pure genius. What better way to be appropriately inappropriate and offend as many people as possible while getting a good laugh than to dress up as a nun when I'm 9 months pregnant! Jim, as always a good sport, went along for the ride and was dressed to match as a priest. :) So here, for your viewing pleasure are a few of the Halloween costume shots.





There are, of course, other photos, but these are my two favorites from our camera. When Dad downloads the ones he took I will try to post up an addendum. :)

Seussification phase I

Ok, so it took a little longer than I had anticipated to get the first phase of project Seussify the baby's room underway. At long last here are the images of the first few characters. More will appear in time, but the process is long and arduous.

We've been using foam backed poster board and tempera paints covered with a sheet of sticky acetate to help preserve them. Jim has been responsible for drawing and cutting out all of the figures. I do the painting. Each figure is attached to the wall with adhesive velcro so that we can move them around and change them out. The plan (perhaps a bit ambitious) is to be able to have a good number of figures so that when we get sick of looking at the same ones we can do some Seuss remodeling. Jim is keen on drawing up some Seuss architecture and I want a Grinch in time for Christmas. Other Seuss suggestions are happily being taken. :)

The Gender Question part II

Well, I asked the Gender Question once before (see the April 11, 2006 post) and here we go again....slightly different slant. Anyone care to place bets? I figure in a week or two I might get a "delivery date" pool going. ;)

Will Little Bear be a girl or a boy?
	Definitely a girl! Here comes Morgan Jade.
	Owen Shae it is!
	Who the hell cares? We'll find out in less than 2 months anyway.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Let the decorating begin

So, as you may have noticed there is a new page in the Little Bear site... The Nursery. Jim and I started putting together furniture for the baby's room this afternoon. Tomorrow's big project is to work on some of the Seuss decorations that will line the walls. Of course, there is still some miscellaneous stuff lying around the room that needs to be cleared out... But one thing at a time. :)

Surprise, surprise, surprise...

So yesterday Jim and I went in for our bi-monthly midwife appointment. Standard routine: checked all of my stats, blood pressure, heart rates (mine and hers), measured the belly (growing on schedule), etc. Then Hilary, my oldest friend who just so happens is also the midwife student looking after us, asked if we wanted to have another ultra sound. We were going to say no because, well, we didn't figure it is too healthy to keep assaulting the poor baby with all of that heat and energy and we knew that she was healthy, but Jim decided that he really wanted to see her again since it has been nearly 3 months since our last viewing. Ok, so, yes please Hilary.

We go into the examination room with the u/s machine and the head midwife of the center, Shari, comes in. She starts out by showing us that the baby is now in a head down position (yay!). Then she asked us what gender the doctor up in Toronto had told us the baby is. So, of course, proud as can be I said, "she's a girl". Well, apparently that is not the consensus. Shari said that she saw some protruding parts that as she put it, "I know I don't have". Hilary also says that she thought she saw some items that looked suspiciously male. Jim said he definitely saw something between the legs where he knew he had definitely not seen something 11 weeks ago. Personally, I could just make out the head and saw a little foot, but couldn't really identify parts beyond that... the resolution wasn't the best. Of course that dangling bit may have been a thumb or an umbillical cord, so we're now in a wait and see pattern.

But the summation of this story is that Morgan Jade may actually be an Owen Shae after all. Shari said that we could have another u/s done on Tuesday when we come back in for the birth class just to have another look and see, but to be honest, I'm not into it. As you may or not recall, back in April I posted up a survey to see how many people thought we should find out the gender of the baby. This was done because Jim wanted to know and I did not. The viewer results were locked in a dead heat, but Jim got his way and we asked the gender on the "big" ultra sound back in June. Well, we tried it his way and now we get it my way. Little Bear is officially back to being Little Bear until further notice, that is when s/he appears in November and the announcements are made.... although my father has decided that Mowen is a good compromise between Morgan and Owen.

So, only one short week after Uncles Dave, Rich and Anthony (Rich, how's that for perpetuating the myth?) secured approval to call the baby M.J. instead of Morgan (it was a VERY limited approval list), M.J. may no longer exist. Good thing I said absolutely no pink, eh?

And the count down begins

Well, we're now approaching the final count down. Both Jim and I are both thrilled but also a little freaked out that Morgan, our LittleBear, will be here in just over 2 months.

We started our Birth classes at the midwife centre last night. Not at all what I expected. I had always had these images of a whole bunch of women lying around on the floor propped up by pillows and partners breathing. Instead we spent about 1 1/2 hours talking about breastfeeding and about 5-10 minutes of breathing. We did about 5 minutes of "exercises" but seriously, I get more exercise at home doing the laundry than I did last night. lol. Guess I shouldn't stop my gym runs or my yoga.

Jim went to a "Daddy Boot Camp" two nights ago and is not sure why he went. He says that the class was designed for a bunch of Cro-Magnon men who have no interest in domesticity or their wives in general. He learned such interesting facts as his wife may be tired from caring for the baby all day and that the should consider helping out in the kitchen. Now if that isn't the biggest joke ever in *this* house. Mind you, Jim already is the one who cooks dinner and does the vacuuming. He said he did learn an important point: most men out there really should not be given license to breed. :) I love my husband!

We returned two days ago from David and Chinatsu's wedding in NYC. We had a great time and Morgan got to do some preliminary bonding with her uncle and new aunt. Unfortunately Jim and I both forgot to bring our camera to the wedding so we have no pictures of our own. As soon as the rest of the family takes pity on us and sends us some I will post up some Morgan in semi-formal wear.

As for the belly shot... well, yes, we are over 2 weeks late, but I will post a 30 week 4 day picture up today. My oh my is that belly growing.